Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize