Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
