I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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