the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
