margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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