i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
