I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
