She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
