your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize