I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
