i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
