i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
