Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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