are you still at the devil's house?
You work out of a Hotel?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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