winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
