My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
