if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
