I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
