I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
