I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
