You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
