Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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