he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
