You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
