In the future we'll all be gay
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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