I wish my penis had an off switch
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
