Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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