it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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