i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
