someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
