i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
