I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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