The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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