i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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