Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
