Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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