woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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