I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she smelled like a LAN party
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
