Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
