Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
