I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
