and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
