I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
