The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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