i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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