i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize