i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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