Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ttyl tear gas
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Randomize
