READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
