the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
