after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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