As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
