Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
