I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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