puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
