Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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